Profound Statements Not Made By Me: Tree Falling (Yet Again)

Me: So this is a sort of a sophisticated version of the “tree falling in the forest” riddle?

Not-Me: [Quizzical Expression on Face]

M: You know – “If a tree fall in the forrest and there is no one there to hear it fall, does it make a sound?”

N: You serious?

M: Quite. Well, I didn’t make it up. It’s out there, it’s a “riddle”.

N: So people really ask these sorts of questions?

M: Well, not people, really, just philosophers.

N: So I suppose if you say “yes” then are affirming a kind of objectively certain world in which trees falls and make sounds independently of our perception and if you say “no” then it’s back to esse est precipi and all that wonderfully insane idealist shit?

M: Sort of. I suppose it is a question of larger implications, you know? Can I say something about reality as it exists outside of my perception – or rather, whether my perception of it (sound of tree falling I hear) corresponds to what, I’m assuming, takes place when I’m not there (sound of tree falling and me being home drinking tea).

N: I suppose the only options are “yes” or “no”?

M: I guess.

N: Can I go with “maybe”?

M: [Astonished Silence, World Grows Dark, Life Ceases to Make Sense]