Russian Spies Are Everywhere!

This story is giving me a headache. Being a Russian, of course, I generally tend to jump in defense of all things Russian – “Oh yeah, well they killed my granny! So bomb them” – basically confirming the stereotype of a nationalist of the worst kind. But this story is ridiculous, especially when Huffington Post get its manicured and thoroughly lotioned hands on it:

Whether or not the 11 alleged Russian spies arrested this week ever succeeded at the task of espionage, they certainly did manage to pull off the trick of passing for run of the mill, mundane Americans.

The Los Angeles Times perhaps best captured the banality of the alleged spy ring’s lives when it wrote: “The group led mundane lives far from the James Bond image. Instead of car chases and shootouts, they paid taxes, haggled over mortgages, and struggled to remember computer passwords.”

Not surprisingly, neighbors and co-workers of those charged were shocked to learn the news. After all, some of them were, as one neighbor of the ‘Murphys’ of Montclair, NJ, put it, the “suburbs personified.”

Wow, talk about affected writing. I’m yet to see what exactly constitutes spying in their case – asking people around about US policies and making friends/networking is spying now? But the best part, of course, is HP masterful and subtle portraits of these alleged spies (in the article linked) – my favorite part is “Interesting Fact” section and the sorts of things they think are interesting. Example:

Democracy In the Age of Mean-Spiritedness.

Democracy of objects? – Please!

Democracy of “mean-spirited ignoramuses” and “semi-literate know-it-alls who have no idea what they’re talking about”? – No, thanks.

This is, of course, an old dilemma: do we allow people to express their views and rule directly and pray they are as sane and considerate as we, the noble thinkers and true leaders, are? Or do we create an elaborate system of government that prevents “the people” from making any significant contributions, but creates an illusion of direct involvement?

Vis-a-vis mean comments on the internet, I think all the impolite and mean-spirited trolls should be immediately arrested and, depending on their physical condition, either sent to labor camps or killed in some quick and effective manner. Then we will have a great society in which only polite and considerate people will make smart suggestions and will be genuinely respectful and supportive of each others, kind and loving, inspiring and prone to spontaneous hugs. I know genocidal ideas are not as popular these days as they used to be (you either love them or hate them, as the saying goes), but I simply see no other way out, I simply don’t.

If you’re contemplating leaving a “mean-spirited” stupid comment to this post, consider yourself warned – all people within 10 miles of your IP address will be rounded up and exterminated – long live the future republic of politeness and tact!

Unplugging the Giant Bathtub of Bullshit

The end of Lost – what a bunch of idiotic sappy quasi-religious bullshit! Whoever was responsible for ruining this perfectly decent show should just come out and say so. Yes, it was a strange show from the start, but at least it was always trying to explain “strange” things in terms of even “stranger” physical reality – electromagnetic forces, time travel, or some other perfectly good material explanation. And it all ends with a big group hug in some ecumenical heaven after some dude unplugs the giant bathtub of light? – give me a break! And the most frustrating part? America loved it! What gives?