Question: Can I publish the same article twice?
Answer: Of course you can. You can publish the same article thrice. Some scholars publish the same article (or the same book) over and over again their entire life. No need to worry about this, kid.
Question: Post Hegelian philosophy?
Answer: There is no such thing. Whoever told you to look it up is an idiot – punch him in the face.
Question: If you can put your five finders through it…
Answer: …it’s not an object anymore – contact your local object-oriented philosopher to inquire about what to do next.
Question: Learning German to read Hegel…
Answer: …is a waste of your time. It will take most of your life and by the time you are good at it, you’ll realize you wasted most of your life on a useless skill. It’s like learning French to read Derrida or learning Russian to read Dostoevsky. Get a life!
What, none for “craptastic academic drek”?
reading this post is a traumatism of astonishment
It’s good to know your readership.