I agree with Borges’ sentiment here. However, my own tirade would simply be a bunch of ad hominem attacks, for the most part.
Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself. Perhaps I should advise would-be enemies to send me their grievances beforehand, with full assurance that they will receive my every aid and support. I have even secretly longed to write, under a pen name, a merciless tirade against myself.
Perverse Egalitarianism 
That is, I think, the healthiest reaction to criticism since the author is usually one’s own best critic – unless, of course, the author is some narcissistic egomaniac who thinks everything he writes is pure gold, i.e. me…
This is such good advice I think I may try it. As if I didn’t have enough half-finished posts….