Tell Me How You Deal With Sleepiness…
March 19, 2008 by Mikhail Emelianov
… and I will tell you who you are! Or something like that… So as some might know, I have ventured into a new territory of extreme early morning teaching this semester (7am class - Intro to Philosophy), partly because my afternoon class did not get enough students, partly because I am young and restless (read, junior) and wanted to experience something new. Well, not really - there were 25 students signed up for the class and no one to mold their young impressionable minds, I volunteered.
This expreince has taught me plenty of interesting things about human nature (my own including), but mostly it is quite fun observing people struggling with sleep on the train, on campus, in the classroom. It’s clear that with rare exception of an occasional superman or a robot, most people feel sleepy at, say, 6am - I found that there are basically three types of “sleep fighters”:
1) Indulgent “spoiled brat” type. This one is extremely pissed at the world and its closest representatives because the very idea of being awake at such an ungodly hour is something that cannot be grasped by any sensible human being. “Why am I awake and amongst these losers?” - says the face. “How can you seriously expect me to learn at this hour?” - says the posture. “How is this possible that life actually exists on the planet before noon?” - says the overall disposition. Indulgent types will sleep on the train even if they have 2.5 mins - “What? You don’t expect me to read or stare out of the window, do you? It’s my precious time and I am going to spend all of it sleeping!”
Ways to deal with Indulgent “Spoiled Brat” type: engage in conversation as if to show that indeed it is a regular waking life and not a nightmare, remind her/him that most things in life come with a price and developing a disciplined reaction to the need to wake up early is a good skill, tell the story of Rene Descartes…
2) Courageous Yet Inexperienced type. This poor thing fights his/her sleep like a tough little soldier that s/he is. The general effort is showing on the face, in the movements, arrangement of things on the desk, hand positions, and ever-present closing and opening of the eyes. “I am trying so hard, teacher!” - say the face. “How more uncomfortable can I contort my body to resist sleep?” - say the posture. “If only God gave me extra-strenght and willpower to get through this, I will sacrifice to Him the first thing I see!” - says the overall disposition.
Ways to deal with Courageous Yet Inexperienced type: maintain eye contact, gesticulate in their general direction, ask to express opinions, encourage awakeness with smiles, winks, motions of appreciation, tell the story of Jephthah…
3) Veteran “Been There, Slept Through That” type. This is my personal hero - s/he sleeps through your class with a determination of a freedom fighter set to liberate the Fatherland or die trying! The veteran sleeper is technically is not really dealing with sleepiness, s/he just… well, sleeps: “That was a fascinating observation, professor! Please keep talking!” - say the face. “I am writing down your wisdom and only stopped for a second to reassess its profundity” - say the posture. “How can I learn more… while sleeping?” - says the general disposition. I personally admire the veteran: s/he can sleep through anything and uses a variety of practices and tough to perform tricks to engage in sleep, utilizing all available means such as hair, hat, book, wall, desk, and ultimately Jesus Christ himself.
Ways to deal with Veteran “BTSTT” type: mock repeatedly, wait til is asleep and make loud noises (clap, whistle, move desks), point out with a finger and say words like: “I know some of you think they can sleep through my class, but I can still see you.” Maintain self-control and stare directly into the eyes during those rare seconds when they are awake and looking at you. Mock some more, make fun of, stand next to. Otherwise the veteran will sleep right through your edifying discussion of hypocricy or moral duty. Tell the story of Eliot Spitzer.
I used to have this student who would take every class I taught - and then sleep prominently - almost dramatically - in the front row of each one…
I have a clear Type 2 student in my 8am class that nods off even while I’m answering a question that he himself asked moments prior!
N., to quote Bill Murray character from The Royal Tenenbaums: “How interesting! How bizarre!”
Shahar, that is hilarious! you should intentionally prolong getting to the point and then just stop and wait to see if the student is asleep and then yell loudly: DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?
In high school, I had an economics teacher who would start his sentences very loudly, and trail off to near silence at the end. It was horrific if you were feeling sleepy in class, because he would put you to sleep by the end of the sentence, and then abruptly jolt you out of sleep at the beginning of the next. He also had the habit of carrying a ruler around the class with him, and using it to smack the desk of anyone who was sleeping
I also had a very old chemistry teacher who threatened to tazer us if we were sleeping.
I, myself, am probably a type 2 most of the time, except when it comes to courses such as the logic course I took, where the instructor said in class, “I’m not here to teach you, I’m here to show you where to look in the book.” In this case, I have no problem counting it as an hour of naptime.
Dave,
I took that class too!! AND it was at 7:15. I had the hardest time staying awake (though I don’t remember Mr. Morgan having a ruler.) I have to admit that while I usually have the willpower to stay awake through class, I clearly have the indulgent bitch: “Why did God create an hour this early??” mentality.
…as some of you have come to realize.
The chemistry teacher that I had, which was as curmudgeony as Dave’s but far far less old, once announced to our class that scientific studies had proven that you could not fall asleep out of sheer boredom and that we, his students, were to blame for not getting enough sleep. I, on the other hand, would use his class as proof that this, indeed, does and can happen, especially if you are an angry large man who clearly hates high school students, and de facto his life, fails to make anything about chemistry understandable or interesting, and chooses to teach with most of the lights turned off day in and day out.